How to Prepare for the Probate Process in the Indiana Court System

I do not know of anyone who has said to me, "2020 was a great year!" In the case of my husband and me, it was a truly awful year. We lost his mother somewhat suddenly after a short illness, and we lost my dad a few months later.

My mother-in-law, Ruth, was an Indiana middle school math teacher for more than four decades. Additionally, she was instrumental in negotiating teacher contracts in her district. To say my mother was organized is an understatement. She was meticulous – and my husband and I are very thankful.

A few years ago, my father-in-law passed suddenly. From then on, every time we saw Ruth, she would remind us that she kept track of all of her business. The information was safely stowed in a "green folder in the top drawer of the filing cabinet." When we went to her home shortly after her deal, we found the green folder exactly where she indicated. Not only was the green folder in its rightful place, but it contained all the information we needed. It referenced other information locations, such as the purple folder on the secretary, files in the cabinet, and documents in the safe.

Ruth saved us a lot of time and headaches by planning, keeping good records, and updating information and documentation as necessary. Her assets, income, house information, insurance, retirement accounts, etc., were all carefully spelled out in her neat, teacher handwriting. She left no questions. Despite being in excellent health, she planned for the inevitable and did so in a manner specific to Indiana's probate laws. She made our job, and the court's, very easy.

My husband and I have taken a page from Ruth's green folder, so to speak. We maintain files of information. We have met with our son, who will be the Personal Representative of our estates. He needs to know the steps to take. I do not pretend that we are as organized as Ruth. I hope that we are organized enough that our son does not have to search high and low for documentation. We don't want the possibility of him missing an asset, debt, or insurance policy.

The first step to prepare your estate is to have a Last Will and Testament prepared by an attorney familiar with Indiana statutes. The next step is to keep records and write down information - especially for the Personal Representative. The final step is to relax and enjoy life! With these simple steps in place - you can rest easy. You'll be assured that the wishes at your death are followed and that your Personal Representative has all of the information needed to culminate your assets, pay debt, and distribute your estate.

I would love to help you with this process. You may contact me at (317) 815-0340 or at jmattingly@carmelfamilylaw.com.

Three Benefits of Divorce Mediation (Versus Litigation)

Over the years, we have found that many clients are hesitant to enter mediation. When most people think of divorce, they think of long processes involving layers of lawyers, judges, and court dates. As a certified mediator, I try to steer my clients toward mediation whenever possible.

Litigation is a viable solution to complete a marriage dissolution, but in many cases, it is not the best option. Mediation has many benefits to both parties: 

1. It is generally less expensive.

2. It gives both parties more input on the decision.

3. It is proven to lead to longer-lasting outcomes.

Cost

In many cases, mediation is a much cheaper option than litigation. There are a variety of reasons for this. Generally, mediation occurs over a few short sessions - negating the expenses of filing multiple court documents and appearing time after time.

Around Carmel, we have an excellent group of mediators to choose from. Mediators are generally attorneys who have practiced family law for years. They understand the law, our local judges, and the court system. This experience helps them create fair and equitable outcomes.

Mediation can happen with attorneys present, or it can be done directly between the clients. Mediation without attorneys is called pro-se mediation. In this circumstance, the mediator guides both parties through the process and helps prepare court documents. In most cases, the entire mediation is completed in a single day. This keeps the cost low, and the parties split the total fee.

Equity

We have a great group of judges around Carmel in Hamilton and Marion Counties. They are thoughtful, insightful practitioners who work hard to find the right balance in every case.

However, when we litigate a divorce, we are leaving the ultimate decision in the judge's hands. Very seldom does one party "win" and the other "lose." Instead, both parties are likely to be disappointed because the judge does not consider the emotions and nuance of each division of assets, parenting time, or child support.  

You will likely have points that you are willing to negotiate, and others that are deal-breakers. The judge will not consider this, but a mediator will work with both parties and consider these factors.

Long-Lasting Outcomes

We've established that mediation is a more collaborative and thoughtful way to work through a divorce. It gives both parties more input on the proceeding, and it allows for supervised negotiation from a qualified attorney. This process leaves both parties feeling as though the outcome was equitable. Recent studies show that mediation leads to better, long-lasting results, particularly for parents.

What is Mediation?

What is Mediation?

Many clients are hesitant to choose mediation over litigation. In Carmel and around central Indiana, mediating your separation, dissolution, child custody or child support case can be a better option because it allows you input in the process and can be a cheaper option.

When you choose to present your case to a judge, it involves each party making their case and leaving the decision up to the judge. In the vast majority of cases, there is no clear “winner”
and “loser” in this scenario. The judge will consider all of the arguments, and return with a decision somewhere in the middle.

You have little input on the decision-making process. Some points may be very important to you, while others might be easy to compromise on. The judge gives this no consideration. Why leave these decisions to a third party?

A mediator is a neutral third party who helps to resolve all issues, but will not make any decisions or force a compromise. A mediator collaboratively with both sides. The mediator is usually an experienced attorney who understands how the courts view your case and the decisions a judge would make. Mediation can be done with lawyers representing both sides, or it can be done Pro Se, where each client represents himself/herself. In either case, mediation is a more collaborative process that, in most cases, leads to better results and longer-lasting parenting time orders.

A mediator can be a very cost-effective option. Many lawyers in central Indiana offer mediation services and the prices have dropped significantly over the last several years. We have excellent mediators in our area who will work hard to find a fair compromise for both parties.

If you have a family law case and are considering litigation, take a moment to discuss mediation with your attorney and the other parties involved.It isn’t for every case, but in many cases it can lead to lower costs and better outcomes for all parties.

Shared Custody & COVID-19 - 7 Guidelines

This content is adapted from a press release issued by Patricia Bernstein of Bernstein & Associates.

SEVEN GUIDELINES FOR PARENTS WHO ARE DIVORCED/SEPARATED AND SHARING CUSTODY OF CHILDREN DURING THE COVID19 PANDEMIC

From the leaders of groups that deal with families in crisis:

Susan Myres, President of American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML)

Dr. Matt Sullivan, President of Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (AFCC)

Annette Burns, AAML and Former President of AFCC

Yasmine Mehmet, AAML

Kim Bonuomo, AAML

Nancy Kellman, AAML

Dr. Leslie Drozd, AFCC

Dr. Robin Deutsch, AFCC

Jill Peña, Executive Director of AAML

Peter Salem, Executive Director of AFCC

1. BE HEALTHY.

Comply with all CDC and local and state guidelines and model good behavior for your children with intensive hand washing, wiping down surfaces and other objects that are frequently touched, and maintaining social distancing. This also means BE INFORMED. Stay in touch with the most reliable media sources and avoid the rumor mill on social media.

2. BE MINDFUL.

Be honest about the seriousness of the pandemic but maintain a calm attitude and convey to your children your belief that everything will return to normal in time. Avoid making careless comments in front of the children and exposing them to endless media coverage intended for adults. Don’t leave the news on 24/7, for instance. But, at the same time, encourage your children to ask questions and express their concerns and answer them truthfully at a level that is age-appropriate.

3. BE COMPLIANT

with court orders and custody agreements. As much as possible, try to avoid reinventing the wheel despite the unusual circumstances. The custody agreement or court order exists to prevent endless haggling over the details of timesharing. In some jurisdictions there are even standing orders mandating that, if schools are closed, custody agreements should remain in force as though school were still in session.

4. BE CREATIVE.

At the same time, it would be foolish to expect that nothing will change when people are being advised not to fly and vacation attractions such as amusement parks, museums and entertainment venues are closing all over the US and the world. In addition, some parents will have to work extra hours to help deal with the crisis and other parents may be out of work or working reduced hours for a time. Plans will inevitably have to change. Encourage closeness with the parent who is not going to see the child through shared books, movies, games and FaceTime or Skype.

5. BE TRANSPARENT.

Provide honest information to your co-parent about any suspected or confirmed exposure to the virus, and try to agree on what steps each of you will take to protect the child from exposure. Certainly both parents should be informed at once if the child is exhibiting any possible symptoms of the virus.

6. BE GENEROUS.

Try to provide makeup time to the parent who missed out, if at all possible. Family law judges expect reasonable accommodations when they can be made and will take seriously concerns raised in later filings about parents who are inflexible in highly unusual circumstances.

7. BE UNDERSTANDING.

There is no doubt that the pandemic will pose an economic hardship and lead to lost earnings for many, many parents, both those who are paying child support and those who are receiving child support. The parent who is paying should try to provide something, even if it can’t be the full amount. The parent who is receiving payments should try to be accommodating under these challenging and temporary circumstances. Adversity can become an opportunity for parents to come together and focus on what is best for the child. For many children, the strange days of the pandemic will leave vivid memories. It’s important for every child to know and remember that both parents did everything they could to explain what was happening and to keep their child safe.

Shared Parenting and Co-Parenting

Both shared parenting and co-parenting are methods that Indiana parents living in separate homes use to put the welfare of their kids first. Generally, both terms can meet an equal split of parenting time between parents, but it can be something different such as a 60/40 split. Shared parenting time does refer to where the parents trade off having the children in their homes. This approach helps parents and children in many ways.

Scheduling

Shared parenting is helpful to kids because it provides stability and predictability. Kids are pretty tough, but having parents in separate homes may cause anxiety. A set schedule helps to relieve this stress. It is also essential to come up with a plan that allows the kids to do well in school - this means that older children should have input into what school they attend. Parents should consider whether it is best to transition between homes during the school-week or over the weekend.

Communication

In a co-parenting relationship, like any relationship, communication is important. Find a method that works well for you and your co-parent; it could be email, phone, or text. While having a co-parenting schedule eliminates the need for communication regarding scheduling, additional discussion about extracurricular activities, education, healthcare, and discipline must occur. You’ll also need work-out vacations and coverage for work trips. Sometimes it will be helpful to have a parent meeting where both parents and the kids all get together. These meetings go a long way towards establishing a strong communication basis despite separate homes. Healthy communication helps to avoid situations where a child gets stuck in the middle of the two parents, or worse, uses a lack of communication against one parent or the other.

Transitions Between Homes

In most cases, we find a week-on/week-off schedule works well for most parents. It ensures an equal split to parenting time. If transitions occur on weekends, it also avoids interruption to the school week. While a week may seem like a long time (and it is!), technology like Facetime and text messages can help you stay connected to your kids daily – but don’t overdo it! It is important to encourage your kids to keep in touch with both parents – regardless of what home they are sleeping in that night, but the children should not feel obligated to multiple calls/texts each day.

Be Flexible

Finally, it is vital to remain flexible with your co-parent. You both will have times when you may request some extra time with the kids for a vacation, or perhaps ask for help if you have a work trip or other commitment. When you take a collaborative approach to these situations, everybody wins. In the long run, the parenting time will even out. Don’t get in the habit of counting hours.

For most parents and kids working through issues around parenting time, a co-parenting or shared parenting plan can alleviate many problems. It provides the foundation for how you can approach time with your kids, provides stability, and eliminates ambiguity.