Both shared parenting and co-parenting are methods that Indiana parents living in separate homes use to put the welfare of their kids first. Generally, both terms can meet an equal split of parenting time between parents, but it can be something different such as a 60/40 split. Shared parenting time does refer to where the parents trade off having the children in their homes. This approach helps parents and children in many ways.
Scheduling
Shared parenting is helpful to kids because it provides stability and predictability. Kids are pretty tough, but having parents in separate homes may cause anxiety. A set schedule helps to relieve this stress. It is also essential to come up with a plan that allows the kids to do well in school - this means that older children should have input into what school they attend. Parents should consider whether it is best to transition between homes during the school-week or over the weekend.
Communication
In a co-parenting relationship, like any relationship, communication is important. Find a method that works well for you and your co-parent; it could be email, phone, or text. While having a co-parenting schedule eliminates the need for communication regarding scheduling, additional discussion about extracurricular activities, education, healthcare, and discipline must occur. You’ll also need work-out vacations and coverage for work trips. Sometimes it will be helpful to have a parent meeting where both parents and the kids all get together. These meetings go a long way towards establishing a strong communication basis despite separate homes. Healthy communication helps to avoid situations where a child gets stuck in the middle of the two parents, or worse, uses a lack of communication against one parent or the other.
Transitions Between Homes
In most cases, we find a week-on/week-off schedule works well for most parents. It ensures an equal split to parenting time. If transitions occur on weekends, it also avoids interruption to the school week. While a week may seem like a long time (and it is!), technology like Facetime and text messages can help you stay connected to your kids daily – but don’t overdo it! It is important to encourage your kids to keep in touch with both parents – regardless of what home they are sleeping in that night, but the children should not feel obligated to multiple calls/texts each day.
Be Flexible
Finally, it is vital to remain flexible with your co-parent. You both will have times when you may request some extra time with the kids for a vacation, or perhaps ask for help if you have a work trip or other commitment. When you take a collaborative approach to these situations, everybody wins. In the long run, the parenting time will even out. Don’t get in the habit of counting hours.
For most parents and kids working through issues around parenting time, a co-parenting or shared parenting plan can alleviate many problems. It provides the foundation for how you can approach time with your kids, provides stability, and eliminates ambiguity.